Yep, that's right: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Banana Bread. You can go ahead and thank me now.
INGREDIENTS:1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 bananas, mashed
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup chocolate chips
DIRECTIONS:
Step 1 - Do you have bananas? You do not have bananas. Go to the store and buy some. They don't have any brown ones, do they. Jerks. All they have are bright yellow bananas.
It's ok, you're resourceful. Remember those apples you've had in the fridge for like two weeks?
Those! Now, do you vaguely remember reading something once about how the ripening process is all just chemical and has little to do with actual time? If it's true, and you're fairly sure it is, then if you put these probably-decaying apples in a brown bag with the bananas for a few hours, it's got to help speed things up.
And now we play the waiting game.
And sudoku.
But that'll get boring pretty soon, so take the bag outside to catch some late-afternoon sun, because surely solar energy will speed up the process.
(Bring a book)
Of course, this would have been a much better idea earlier in the afternoon, so once you lose the sunlight, head back inside and watch some TV.
Oh hey! Bear caught a snake! Well done, Bear.
Check the bananas - they're not done yet, but letting those gases escape from the brown bag will make you feel like you're doing something.
Better have that sushi you got as an impulse buy at the grocery store - this could take a while.
There goes the sunset. Feel free to watch the whole transformation - you've got nothing but time.
Bear found a sheep in an Irish bog! Or should I say, he "found" a sheep in an Irish bog. Am I the only one who was extremely disappointed when the show got busted?
Oh gross! He's eating the heart! They can show this on Discovery??
Are the bananas ready yet? Nope. Awesome. This was such a good idea.
Kind of like intentionally getting lost in the middle of the Louisiana swamp. Honestly, who does that?
Start a knitting project. Chances are you'll finish that Aran throw blanket before the bananas ripen.
OK you know what? Time to give things a kickstart. Heat up the oven a bit on "warm", check to make sure the oven rack isn't too hot, turn off the heat, and pop the bag in for a few minutes.
I cannot stress strongly enough that you make sure the oven is OFF before you put a brown bag in it. On the "warm" setting it probably won't get hot enough to catch fire, but let's not tempt fate, shall we?
Right, well, after a few minutes of that, the bananas are showing signs of some browning and the green is gone from the stems. Close enough. Let's move on to step 2!
Step 2 - Pour yourself a glass of pinot. You deserve it!
Step 3 - Preheat the oven to 325, and move the TV so you can see it from the kitchen. Oh look! Bear caught a giant lizard of some sort!
Step 4 - Lightly grease a 5x9 inch loaf pan. Or, if you started step 2 earlier, messily grease a 5x9 inch loaf pan.
Step 5 - In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar.
Step 5A - This can be tiring work, so, as Bear would undoubtedly advise, make sure you stay hydrated.
Step 6 - Add eggs, beat well.
(And see step 5A)
Step 7 - Mash bananas. If they're still somehow inexplicably @$&#$@*% under-ripe, try adding a little honey to make up for the lack of natural sweetness that would have been there if all that Mr. Wizard crap had actually worked.
Step 8 - Stir bananas, peanut butter, flour, and baking soda into the mixture in the bowl, and mix until blended. It's starting to smell lovely, isn't it?
Cool - Bear's eating tiny bananas somewhere in Sumatra!
Step 9 - Fold in the chocolate chips, and add a few more if it looks like it needs it. It probably does. I think I ended up using closer to a cup of chips.
Step 10 - Try to find the pre-greased pan (note - this will increase in difficulty the more you repeat steps 2 and 5A), and pour in the batter.
Step 11 - Bake at 325 for 60-70 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean.
Repeat step 2, and grab a few of those chocolate chips while you're at it. I got milk chocolate chips from Ghirardelli. Yum.
How did Bear get so dirty? What did I miss? Why don't I have a DVR??
Ok, enough Bear. Time for something completely different.
Ahhhh.
65 minutes later...
Step 12 - Remove loaf and let it cool on a wire rack.
Well that worked nicely! I may have to make this more often, but given the fat and calorie count per slice, I should probably just make it for sharing. Watch out, book club!
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