Dispatches from La-La-Land

I do apologize for my absence. It seems that in trying to keep busy, I've somehow managed to keep too busy, which is truly an odd phenomenon for someone in a position such as mine. And what on earth have I been up to? What could possibly be sapping so much of my day that I have found it difficult to scrape together a few minutes to write a blog post?

Several things. First, volunteering. Now, this hasn't been taking up vast swaths of time, but it has been rewarding in its own way. At first it seemed odd that whilst looking for someone to pay me to work, I should work for free, but now it seems odd that the notion ever seemed odd. After all, these organizations need people with spare time to help them out, and I have spare time and want something useful to do, so why on earth not go for it? I'll admit that it was suggested to me several times before I took action, and that it was an Obama commercial that finally got me off the couch and over to the computer, but all's well that ends well. If you're interested, I've found VolunteerMatch to be extremely helpful. So far I've gone on a bird count with the Audubon Society and started a community outreach research project for the National MS Society. More to come...

Second, and more selfish and time-consuming (but marginally more lucrative): auditioning. I'd say acting, but I really have been focusing more on the audition part of the equation. I used to be a working actor (with a day job), and I did go to drama school, but since moving to LA I've done nothing of the sort. Now that I have all this time during the day, though, I figured I might as well see what's out there for me in this field. It fits nicely into my "no stone unturned" approach to job-searching, and in addition to being an enormous source of entertainment for me, it has already yielded a couple of paying gigs! Nothing that'll pay the rent, but it'll keep me online for a month or two.

Looking through audition listings, I've noticed a few things. First, people are seriously creepy. Seriously. Creepy. I stay well away from those auditions. Second, there is no shortage of demand for "hot," "sensual," or "sexy" women for whom there will be "nudity and sexuality required" in audition listings, but I have my doubts as to whether there are actual, funded projects behind many of them. Third, if you have a truly bizarre talent, someone out there will put you on TV or in a movie, but probably only once, so don't count on it being your meal ticket forever. (This also includes unique physical traits - I just saw a listing that had as a postscript "Weird hair is helpful.") And finally, there are a disturbingly-large number of audition listings that specifically mention "must be good at facial expressions." That's verbatim. Now, I know that Botox is beyond popular here, but has it actually managed to annihilate all expression from 99% of actors' faces? Or do these casting directors know that 99% of "actors" here have no idea what they're doing and can't even pull faces? Or is that line just The Mark Of The Amateur? I do not yet know the answer to this question, because most listings that have that caveat also have multiple spelling errors, and I refuse to even make contact with people who can't be bothered to run a quick spell-check.

Despite all of this, I am persisting, and I am learning from each audition and each gig (thusfar I have been paid to be an audience member, an extra in a commercial, and a hair model for one of those books you see at the salon), and most importantly, it's still really amusing for me. When I get jaded I'll stop, but for now, it's all good.